| Hey everybody! Welcome back from the missions trip to all who went. I heard a lot of good things about it, and I'm glad y'all had the chance to go. Have you ever felt like absolutely nothing was going right in your life? I've had that feeling lately. It's seemed like everything has gone wrong...everything from problems with my car to strained relationships to working so much that I never see any of you to all the things I have to do before I head to college. But worst of all, I've felt distant from God, or perhaps that He has been distant from me. Last night I got off work at midnight. I had been feeling the weight of these problems even more keenly than normal, and it was with a burdened heart that I stepped into my dark house (everyone was asleep) and got ready for bed. I finally got downstairs at about 12:30. Mo had left a light on in our room for me (she always sleeps with her head under the covers anyway) and I found a letter from her sitting on my pillow. I won't go into the details of what Marisa wrote, but I will say that as I read the letter, I began to cry. Through Marisa's humility in the words she wrote, God broke me. There is something painfully beautiful about God's Spirit bringing you to a place where you are suddenly affronted with the realization of how wretched you are without Him. I like to feel like I have it all together, and sadly, my pride allows me to feel that way more often than I should. Last night, I was reminded again that apart from my Heavenly Father, I am utterly, completely helpless. I cannot maintain good relationships, a positive attitude, or a healthy spiritual life aside from His grace. And when I try to do so, in my own power, I fail. It is with a heart that has been humbled by God's power that I admit to you that that's exactly what I've been doing lately. Yet as I opened my Bible last night, I was reminded in 1 John of Jesus's great love for me, and of His eagerness to forgive me and intercede to the Father on my behalf. I can't even express the awe that I felt as I realized what a sweet gift that was. Yes, I am broken...a vessel that is not worthy, useful, or beautiful on its own. But Christ has forgiven me...and restored me. Isn't it incredible to think that when God looks at me, He no longer sees that vessel that I am, but He sees Christ in me? My problems weren't solved last night as I surrendered them to Him, but I have been given the grace to stop seeking the solutions to those problems, and instead seek the One who can fix them. It's amazing how when I allowed God to break me, He shifted my perspective so that the things that seemed so huge yesterday don't really seem all that insurmountable today. Basking in God's abounding love, Aubrie |
I'll have to bring him over so you can become acquainted.)
